This entry was intended many months ago, as I welcomed, not personally but from 10,000 kilometres away, my newborn nephew. His name is Kayson. Today, as I write this, he’s three months and six days old.

Unfortunately, that’s what procrastination does for me or should I give the excuse that I’ve been ‘busy’ with life?

I wasn’t. Not really.

Initially, I intended to write this entire blog entry through Grammarly, an app built by ‘Grammar Nazis’ who seek to rule this world with their policing of the English language by the rule-book.

But, do I care, what seems to be right?

Sometimes I have to care, as I might get the wrong messages across. Other times, I care little, as this is the way I speak. Anyway, back to what I intended to write about,


It’s amazing how much I could know about the science of birth but know absolutely nothing about the nature of it. When I use the word 'nature', I am referring to the immediate presence of an existence.

Something, or in this case, someone pops out of nowhere and take the centre of our lives. A family of five becomes a family of six. The is an extra plate to set on the dinner table, there’s an extra room to consider when designing a house, and an additional person to love.

Strangely, that’s what Kayson has done to the family. He gave us a lot to love and unearthed a lot of compassion in this 35 year young family which hasn’t experienced a welcoming for more than three decades.

Personally, I was the last one whom they welcomed. Hence, I did not experience the welcoming of anyone at all into this family of mine.

But when Kayson was born on 14 March 2017, at least I could say that the experience, was indescribably sublime. I was overcome by happiness but sadness; joy but with an overwhelming sense of isolation.


It was because I was in London and that baby boy was in and still is in Malaysia. But I am no longer in London, as the sheer sense of isolation and loneliness has left me and I am now in the company of the people who had brought me up.

Sometimes a break is needed, but that was what I needed as I am always afflicted by the pains of Bipolar.


It's amazing, that feeling, of having someone absolutely new to love. Someone who till this moment I write has 3 months and 6 days worth of memories, which most probably are filled with impossible dreams. Someone who has yet to learn to talk and to assimilate the dirt society has to throw onto him with words that could be beautiful but at the same time filthy.


Finally, this is the birth of a new blog. My blog

On a sparkling new website which is in a new domain. My domain.

And finally, welcome to my website.

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